My Brand of Crazy
Today I didn't leave the house once, and it was so nice. I rearranged some things in the living room so Amelia's Christmas gifts will fit better, played "craft" with her and some other games, and baked - french bread and dog treats, among other things. I was cracking an egg to use for the top of the french bread when I noticed myself cringing. I realized it has become second nature to me to do that in recent years. Every time I crack an egg, I do a mental cringe and hold my breath.
No, I do not feel guilty that that egg could have been a chick, nor do I take an indignant stance to the hormones given to chickens. (I'm all for animal rights and organic food, but realistically I just do NOT have time for that in my day right now.) The reason I cringe when I crack an egg is because I fear that this will be the time.....
that someone put the wrong egg in the ones to go to the market, and inside MY egg, which should contain a relatively benign egg white and yolk, is a dead chick.
UGH. That was really hard to type. I am traumatized by the mere act of writing it. I don't know why I fear this, but there is a part of me that is certain that one day, the wrong egg is going to be in my carton and I will absolutely freak out when that happens. I have no idea where this comes from, I have never heard of that happening to anyone (and if you have, please don't tell me!). I sort of think it was borne during my biology class in college, much the same as my trepidation that someday, I may somehow ingest a tapeworm and later, after many years of unexplained weight loss, find it in my underwear when I go to the bathroom (yeah, thanks a LOT for that one, Dr. Rogers. Really.).
Anyhow, I got to thinking about other irrational fears I have, as later on in the day I prepared a turkey for roasting. Mark had to leave the room as I unwrapped the bird (he just can't handle meat on the bone, lol). It's not my favorite thing to make either, but when I found a 20-pound turkey at Hilander on Friday for $10, the bargain hunter in me couldn't pass it up.
I unwrapped the old girl (guy? IDK.) and set it in the sink. I turned it on end and peered into the cavity, noting the neck and giblets inside. Why do they have to put the neck in? There's really not enough meat to make it worthwhile, and it just makes it too realistic for my liking. I did manage to refrain from dry heaving as I used tongs to remove the neck and pouch of giblets - no way was I touching those with my fingers (see? another irrational fear. I don't know what could happen that would be so horrible if I touched them, but my mind is convinced something would). I threw them in the trash and set the bird on the roasting rack. Ugh. Now it really looked like a turkey. I really much prefer beef or pork, that looks nothing like what it came from by the time you buy it! I don't usually buy whole turkeys or chickens though, as much as I hate to admit DH is right, they do freak me out a bit, especially when you boil them and you pick through and see all the vertabrae.
Anyway, I made it through all of my cooking without coming face to face with any disembodied chickens hidden in egg shells, and without having to touch any turkey livers.
Other irrational fears:
- That the oven will explode if I open it as it's relighting.
- That I am going to accidently put the car in drive when it should be in reverse or vice versa, and run over someone
- That I will go out to the kitchen one night and some Freddy Krueger type will be standing at the back door.
- That something will happen if I reach into a sink full of dishwater to pull the plug (not sure what, mostly just that it's gross, I think). I use my tongs for this as well.
- That if I eat a cough drop at bedtime, I will fall asleep with it in my mouth and choke on it before it dissolves.
P.S. Not sure it was such a great idea to post this as night....am wondering what kind of dreams I'm going to have now, lol!
Couponing, crafting, and general ramblings.
7 comments:
Kathie, you're funny!! I think about the chicken & the egg thing every time I crack an egg, too. I think I saw a something about it on one of those cooking shows or dateline shows. I hope to never see it either, yuck!
I have 2 fears about driving - the 1st one is that I will be in reverse and not see a child and run into them - I have seen that on the news too many times and it freaks me out. I have to check 900 times to make sure noone is there. The 2nd is that I will be driving down old country roads late at night and a serial killer will jump out at me (like Texas Chainsaw) or something like that.
I'm sure I could go on and on.... :)
Yes, I'm weird!
Melissa :)
Kathie... that's disgusting. Lulu has a tapeworm now and I would love for some unexplained weight loss but people can't get dog tapeworms, so don't worry, I won't bring tapeworm over to your house and put it in your underwear.
I am also afraid of running over a person with my car!!! But that is probably because of that one time when I hit someone with my car. Remember in Oak Park? I am also scared that whenever I drive at night there is a person hiding in my backseat with a knife. So I check the backseat and then I worry that someone is in the trunk and they will break into the backseat and then they will stab me. That's pretty irrational. I am also scared of mirrors in the dark and windows in the dark because somebody could be at the window, so I get that. That's probably just because my sister once told me about murderers and kidnappers.
I think my most irrational fear is of staying at home alone. I don't know what it is, but it is something about laying in my bed, in the still of the night, in the middle of nowhere, that makes me feel beyond vulnerable. Secretly, I wanted Jake as a guard dog. I would rather go to a hotel where I know a clerk is on duty than stay home by myself. Yikes...
Ok, SO glad I'm not the only one! Melissa, I used to be really creeped out by driving in the country late at night by myself. I had read some book of creepy stories and one involved people in a car being chased by some flying batlike creature. I had lots of visions of that in my head as I drove home from friends' houses in h.s.
Betsy, I did NOT tell you about murderers and kidnappers. I'm sure that was Stephanie ;) I do remember when you hit the lady in Oak Park. That was not your fault at all, though. Thanks also for not giving me tapeworms.
Danielle, your house is creepy! I think I would be freaked out to be there alone too. Have you vacuumed or are you making Doug do it?
The stuff lurking in the bottom of the sink is the nastiest thing on earth!
I used to be afraid of encountering some THING in the dark when I awoke at night too...
Not so much now- knowing God has helped a lot with that... I used to go to bed afraid that I'd wake up in a fire.. My husband doesn't like to see meat on bones either!
I once had an irrational fear of tornadoes.. every time it rained, I'd be sick with fear.
I think intestinal parasites are on the top ten list of the most feared thing for most people.
You all sound like friends so I hesitate to comment but after reading Dani's fear I had to....I have the same fear as Dani. I HATE being home alone at night. The motion light in our privacy fenced yard has gone off and I know it has to be an animal. I mean who would scale the fence to get in my yard? But I've called the police so many times because of that. Because of my crazy fear my husband has installed alarms on our doors. Now I lay in bed and wonder if I would be able to hear them if they go off.
Honestly this fear has gotten so bad that if my husband is out I'll call him and tell him I'm so scared that maybe he could come home. I really need to get this under control.
That's about my only crazy fear.
Chrysalis, I was terrified of tornadoes as a child. To the point of being OCD about it - it was bad. Thank goodness I outgrew that.
I also used to be afraid of someone breaking into the house at night while I was home alone - I used to not be able to sleep if my husband was gone. That seemed to go away when Amelia was born - now I just worry about her :/
I guess I should just be glad that none of my irrational fears impair my life to the extent those two things did!
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